SansPretense

As a guy, it’s often pretty scary to take on the die-hard feminists out there out of fear of pissing off the rest of the female part of the species. It’s like the radical feminists have got us men by the balls and try to keep twisting them by attempting to inject as much male-guilt for the sins of the misogynistic, patriarchal society that we have developed as they can muster. In the academic world, it stiffles honest questioning of the status-quo, hinders scientific research into gender studies associated with learning and education, and all sorts of other things. In the social setting, us guys are often not sure whether to be chivalrous and old-fashioned (or polite as my Momma called it) and open the doors, pick up the check, etc., or if we’re going to be met with evil glares and condescension. That’s not to say that feminism hasn’t done good things for society, but there have been negative effects (as with most movements).

So it is quite a turn on (kidding!) refreshing to see women reject the radical views of some feminists. In many cases, the women who disagree with feminism are as passionate – if not more so – than the women who spew forth the feminist rhetoric. Rachel Lucas, over the last week or two, seems to have made it her mission in life to verbally beat the living hell (with a blunt instrument – see her header) out of feminists (here, here, here, here, here, and indirectly here). To be fair, she verbally bludgeons stupid people in general and there seemed to be a spike in stupid feminists coming to her attention. I also saw Cassy Fiano (here and here), Dr. Helen, and Amy Alkon take on several of the stories Rachel went after (I found those bloggers through Rachel’s site as well as constantly hearing about them on Conservative Grapevine). Those are just the ones I’ve read in the last couple of weeks.

I guess my take on feminism and such is rooted in the strong women in my family. I grew up … (more below the fold) with three very strong women with three very different views on the world, though all more of the conservative variety. My mom is a single mom. When I was in middle school she decided to go back to school and get a college degree. At one point she was working two jobs, enrolled full time in school, and still managing to make it to all of the football games my brother and I was playing in and the gym meets my sister was competing in. That’s real strength. My grandmothers were very much traditional in the sense that they “submitted” to my grandfathers who are the patriarchs of the family (i.e., my grandmothers know the fine art of being in charge without being in charge). Yet these women were and are very much strong women for how they manage the family and hold it together even during the tough times. All three have been involved in running or managing a business (or two) while also managing the household. The radical feminists would look down on my grandmothers for taking on the traditional family role and would probably look down on my mom for various reasons, too. But these women have set an example to me on what real feminine strength is all about. They’ve defied the message of victimhood that I constantly hear from the Left in that they were not victims. They never blamed society for anything. Instead they took pride in being mothers and taking care of the family.

I’m sure I’ll get drilled for this (if anyone actually reads it), but it seems to me that certain versions of radical feminism tend to view strength in only one way: that of the strong male. Everything they strive for is a direct comparison to the male-centric view of the world. They cannot accept differences in success between men and women while measuring that success with the male-centric measuring stick. I’m not too good at describing male-strength and the ruler that men use to measure success with each other and even worse at describing what I mean by feminine strength. All I’m saying is that men and women tend to react differently and take pride in different things when compared to the opposite sex. This in no way takes away from either: women are just as passionate and intelligent as men and have just as much potential for success as men.

It is these differences that make the secure men want to put women on pedestals (as opposed to the insecure man who tries to keep them “in their place”) in admiration for the complementary traits between the genders. I firmly believe that men have an inherent desire to take care of women in all their frailty, while women have an inherent desire to take care of men in all of their’s. The perfect mate makes us into a better person when we’re together because of this ying-yang of traits. Notice, this has nothing to do with social position: masculine and feminine are inherent (by nature or by nurture).

So if it’s ok with you, I’ll stick by what my momma taught me: treat women the way you want your mother, grandmother, and sister to be treated. Since I look up to them, respect them, never hit them, and treat them with chivalry and politeness. Also, frankly, I have a healthy fear of what my mom would do to me if I ever didn’t treat a woman this way…